Candy Thieves

Starring my two wedgie gang trouble makers Skidderz and Burner and guest starring JaydenTheThunderWolf and KaitoKrysch. Originally this just started out as a picture but then I got an idea for a not so spooky Halloween themed story to go with it. Remember kids; this is why trick or treating is bad for you :-P

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On a dark and misty halloween night Kaito and Jayden were out trick or treating. They were only about half way through the night and already the pair had managed to bag themselves a pretty hefty load of candy, their pumpkin themed bags already starting to overflow with delicious treats. It was most likely due to their costume choice; the pair had gone for more cuteness than scare factor with Jayden dressing up as an angel and Kaito as a devil; this combined with the pair standing together and pulling the most adorable smiles together at the doorsteps was enough to get them each an extra big helping of candy.

“I think we may need bigger pouches” Jayden said to Kaito as he admired all the delicious treats inside.

“I told you this was a fool proof plan, people give more to cute kids. And you wanted to go dressed as Harley Quinn!” Kaito smirked

“Hey i would have made an adorable Harley!” Snapped Jayden

Kaito sniggered “Whatever you say sweetie! Now lets head back to yours and make some more room in these pouches for…” Kaito was cut short as he noticed a lone figure up ahead.

It was a small child with a white sheet draped over him with two eyeholes cut out to create a makeshift ghost costume. The child was stood all alone and crying.

Jay and Kaito approached the kid as he stood there wiping his eyes from underneath his ghost costume and sniffling.

“Kid?” Jay said with a very sympathetic tone. “Hey kid whats wrong? Are you lost?”

The crying kid wiped his eyes and looked up at the pair. “sniffle..he….stole my candy!”

“Who stole your candy?” Asked Kaito.

“sniffle the bad man! I was sniff out trick or treating when sniffle the bad man jumped me and stole all my candy!”

“Thats horrible!” Jay exclaimed

“It gets worse! Sniffsniff After he took my candy he...he...gave me something called a wedgie! I’d never had a wedgie before; it hurt so much and felt so embarrassing! Sniffle. He hung me from that fencepost over there by my underpants and laughed at me, sniffle none of the other kids helped me, sniffle they all just pointed and laughed. I had to rip my underpants in the end to get down. I’m so embarrassed i just want to curl up into a ball and disappear” The kid began crying again.

Both Jay and Kaito felt incredibly sorry for the kid. Both of them were no strangers to wedgies themselves and they knew just how painful both physically and emotionally they could be.

Kaito gently placed his arm on the kids shoulder “Hey it’s ok kid don’t worry, me and Jay will help you get your candy back.

The kid looked up at Jay and Kaito “sniffle you will?”

Jay looked at Kaito “We will?” Kaito immediately stood on Jays foot hard “OW! I mean, of course we will.”

The kids green eyes lit up with hope through the eyeholes of his ghost costume as he looked up at the pair. “That’s awesome! Thankyou so much!

“So can you remember what this guy looked like?” Kaito asked.

The kid started pondering, trying to remember his attacker. “Err, he was tall...he had spots all over him...and grey fur; i think he was a hyena.”

“That’s a good start, anything else?”

“Hmmm….yeh; he was dressed…..differently…..he wore his pants down low….like….really really low….like...right past his butt, you could fully see his underpants. Oh and he had bright orange hair.”

Jay rolled his eyes and muttered to himself. “Great! So basically we’re lookin’ for a circus clown, not like it’s gonna be hard to find one of those on a night like this”.

“Did you see which way he went?” Kaito asked.

The kid shook his head“No, but he said something about going back to the clearing behind the abandoned police station to enjoy the rest of the candy he took from other kids.”

“Me and Jay know exactly where that is; lets go and teach this jerk a lesson.”

The trio headed over to the clearing behind the abandoned police station. The clearing was nothing but a large fenced off area of gravel with various pieces of trash scattered about the place that had been thrown over the fence by various passers by.  Jay spotted a hole in the tall wooden fence surrounding the clearing. He crouched down and peered through; over at the opposite end of the clearing he thought he could make out something illuminated by a dim light. Jay crawled through the hole and Kaito and the other kid followed. The trio raced over to the source of the light but when they got there they were horrified by what they say.

There, hanging from the wooden fence were several groaning kids dressed in a variety of different halloween costumes. Each kid had been hung from the fence by their underwear, although there were no immediately visible hooks. Upon further inspection it became clear how the kids had been hung, each kid had their underwear nailed to the tall wooden fence, making it impossible to unhook themselves. Just above the kids spray painted in bright orange paint were the words “WEDGIE WALL”

Jay and Kaito looked on in horror at the choir of groaning trick or treaters, all the various types of underwear ranging from tightywhities to boxerbriefs nailed tightly into the tall wooden wall and stretched out to varying lengths.

“Who-who would do such a thing?” Jay stuttered as he instinctively grabbed hold of Kaitos hand in fear. “Kaito, i’m scared.”

One of the wedgie victims looked up and saw the trio. Dazed and confused from the pain of the wedgie he tried to speak “R-RUN!”

Before Jay and Kaito had any time to react they suddenly felt a sharp pain in their rears as their underwear was yanked skywards with incredible force, lifting them off the ground and giving them painful wedgies. The sudden shock caused the pair to drop their candy pouches sending sweets everywhere. Jay and Kaito thrashed and kicked but this only made their wedgies worse.

It turned out Jay and Kaito had been so fixated on the wall of wedgies that they didn’t notice their attacker sneak up behind them. He was a grey spotted hyena with spiky orange hair and piercings through his ears and eyebrows with a bullring piercing through his nose. He was dressed in a black vest top with a picture of what appeared to be a burning object on it, grey and white camo pants that were sagging really low to reveal his brown and orange checkered boxers, and at the calves his pants were tucked into a pair of black, dirty army boots with orange laces; on his hands were a pair of brown thick leather gloves and his belt buckle bore the same symbol as his vest top. There was no doubt that this was the guy who attacked the kid.

“PUT US DOWN!” Jay shouted

“GIVE THIS KID HIS CANDY BACK!” Kaito added.

The man laughed as he gave Jay and Kaito a couple of bounces by their underwear. “Wow Skidz! You actually managed to convince these dorks to white knight for you like this?”

“Hey what can I say Burner?!” The kid in the ghost costume replied in a snarky tone taking Jay and Kaito completely by surprise. “Dis ‘yena knows how ta act!!”

The kid began to pull his ghost costume off over his head, dumping it on the floor and showing the pair who he really was. The kid was another spotted hyena with light tanned fur and brown spots with short green hair that was only just visible from underneath his slightly tilted blue camo patterned cap. He was dressed in a similar outfit to the ‘yena named Burner; a black vest top only with a green biohazard symbol on it, blue camouflage pants sagging low to reveal a pair of green spotted boxers and again tucked into a pair of black army boots only with green laces, a brown leather belt with a buckle that had a matching symbol to his top and a pair of brown leather industrial grade gloves on his hands.

“SKIDDAZ IN DA HOUSE TELLIN YOU DORKS YOU JUST GOT TRICKED!” The kid shouted in an over the top over exaggerated tone.

Jay and Kaito looked at Skidderz with burning rage. “WHY YOU LITTLE BRAT!!” Kaito shouted.

“Heh! Oh you’re too kind!” Skidderz replied with a cheeky grin as he began shoveling the pieces of dropped candy back into the pouches.

Both Jay and Kaito thrashed and kicked with rage desperately trying to get free; both could not believe they’d allowed themselves to be tricked like this. In the end they both gave up, slumping down into their wedgies in defeat and accepting their fate they could only watch as the young hyena they’d tried to help scooped up the last of their candy from the floor.

“Man i love halloween” Burner said with a smile. “There's so much free candy everywhere”.

Skidderz admired the load of delicious treats in Jays pumpkin pouch. “And no shortage of dorks to hone our pranking skills on; this has to be my favorite time of the year.”

Burner carried Jay and Kaito over to the wedgie wall, meanwhile Skidderz headed over to the shadows. Burner stopped at a blank space on the wall and gave both Jay and Kaito a sharp bounce “You try anything funny and i'll beat you both to a pulp! Got it?” Both Jay and Kaito remained silent just staring ahead in shame, Burner gave them both another sharp bounce “GOT IT?!” Both gave a shameful nod as they groaned in pain from the sudden sharp wedgie. “Good!”

Skidderz reemerged from the shadows carrying a battery powered nail gun. Burner gave another wicked smile “Now who wants to go first?” Both Jay and Kaito remained silent. “What?! No volunteers?! Ok. In that case the lil red devil can go first.”

Immediately Burner dropped Jay to the ground causing him to fall on his stomach; but before Jay had chance to run away he felt Burner pressing his cold booted foot down hard on his back preventing him from moving. Skidderz passed the nail gun to Burner. Burner held the back of Kaitos tighty whities up against the wooden fence and using the nail gun nailed Kaitos underwear to the wall, leaving him trapped in a hanging wedgie. He then did the same to Jay, nailing him right next to Kaito.

Skidderz jumped up and grabbed hold of Kaitos feet, swinging around and making Kaitos wedgie more intense, while Burner merely grabbed Jays ankles and gave a few sharp pulls downwards. Soon both Jay and Kaito were joining in the chorus of moaning trick or treaters.

Burner gave another couple of trick or treaters some sharp pulls downwards to increase their pain before picking up Jay and Kaitos candy pouches. “I’ll go dump this batch in the trunk, you ok lurin in some more suckers or you gettin’ tired and want me to come help ya? Afterall it is past yer bed time.”

Skidderz draped the ghost costume back over himself before reaching his hand from underneath the white sheet to flip Burner off.

The two hyenas parted ways leaving Jay and Kaito to dangle in pain. As the night went on the same thing happened, Skidderz would return with more unfortunate trick or treaters and Burner would ambush them and nail them onto the wedgie wall by their underwear. A few times Burner even came back on his own carrying a kid or two by their underwear who’d happened to wander by. Not all had candy on them but regardless they all met the same fate on the wedgie wall.

After what seemed like an eternity Skidderz returned with the last 2 trick or treater victims for the night. As he’d done with Jay and Kaito Burner hoisted them off the ground by their undies before nailing them to the wedgie wall while Skidderz scooped up the dropped candy.

Burner and Skidderz stood back and admired the mural of moaning costume clad wedgie victims. It was difficult to put a number on how many trick or treaters had been hung in total but it felt like pretty much the entire population of kids in the neighbourhood were all hung on the wedgie wall.

Burner held up his pink phone to take a panoramic picture of the mural. “Wow! I think we’ve actually broken our own personal record this year, even without Atomica here to help.”

Skidderz chuckled “Meh his loss, shame we won’t be comin’ back to this town next year. Ah well, maybe the town we go to next year will have twice as many dorks to harvest”

Burner put his phone away and picked up the battery powered lantern that’d been illuminating the wedgie wall. “Anyway we better hit the road. It's a long drive back and i ain't payin for some sleazy motel mattress”.

“Heh. I’m gonna chow down on some of that candy!”

Both Skidderz and Burner began walking off into the black void. The wedgie wall becoming dimmer and dimmer as the lantern light faded away.

“You best leave some for me and Atomica!” Burner said with a stern tone. “And if you puke up in my car you’ll be wishin i nailed you to the wall with those other dorks.”

“Yes DADDY!” Skidderz replied in a snarky sarcastic tone.

“Im serious about the candy! If you hardly leave any for me and Atomica then i'll be treating you to the Burner Bonanza wedgie….with nettles instead of hot sauce!!!”

“Whatever!”

As the last bit of light faded away the moaning from the wedgie wall increased in volume, echoing into the night. All the trick or treaters could do was hang helplessly and either wait for their undies to rip, or wait for someone to find them.

THE END